


burning the candle at both ends

by Anonymous



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Fusion, Angst, Deviates From Canon, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Partying, Romance, Swearing, Underage Drinking, in chapter 5, just a lil bit, wow that's a tag amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-02-22 19:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: From his dating-obsessed brother to the new guy he can't figure out, senior year is everything Racetrack hadn't prepared for





	1. Don't Give A Damn About My Reputation

Being a teenager was overrated.

From the cliques and rumors to the raging hormones, Racetrack was ready to be rid of the stain that was high school. With his final year well under way, the end was in sight and if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing, Race was ready to challenge anyone that said he was wrong. 

Just drifting out of his dreamless state, Race let out a small groan as he burrowed into his blankets. If there was one thing he hated more than his current state of life, it was the mornings that forced him to face the world before he was ready.

Slamming his alarm off, Race pushed himself out of bed and prepared for the morning quickly so he wouldn’t have to deal with false politeness or even the occasional rough-housing. Yet, when he came downstairs, house quiet, he wasn’t surprised.

Guessing his mother was already at work and Blink probably on his way to school, Race grinned to himself knowing he had just enough time to catch up with his brother. Jumping into his car, Race blasted his music, racing along the road until he spotted Blink’s car. 

Pulling up alongside Blink’s car, Race could see Blink enjoying himself in the company of his friends but his expression dropped immediately when Race’s thrashing music overtook everything. 

“Fucker,” Blink mouthed at Race, who shrugged with a wide grin and shot off as soon as the light turned green. 

Whether Blink meant it or not, it didn’t really matter to Race. Getting a rise out of Blink was the best thing that had happened to him that morning and he slid into a parking spot, ignoring the students that yelled at him. 

“You could’ve hurt someone you know,” his friend, Sarah, approached the car with a hand on her hip. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Race sighed as he climbed out of the car. Grabbing his backpack he marched towards the school, Sarah in tow. 

“Too bad. I’ve been meaning to get back at Tracy for weeks.”

Race’s laughter rang through the campus and he wrapped an arm around Sarah’s shoulders. “This is why we’re friends, I’m telling you.”

As they walked through the campus, Race paid no mind to the faces. The class sizes had grown through the years and now a senior, it was all a guessing game for Race as to whom was who. Either way, none of them mattered besides Sarah.

If only Race had been paying attention, he would’ve noticed the boy who locked eyes on him and how that gaze never left Race until he was far out of sight. More pressing matters were on Race’s mind like the new kid who gaped at his brother as Blink shoved past Race with his fans trailing after him.

Mush Meyers, the gaping boy, was just trying to finish his education. With his family constantly moving around, school was often left in the dust let alone any form of a social life. Now finally settled down, all Mush wanted was to finish one school year and seeing the blond boy walk past him added yet another small hope to his growing list.

“If you’re not going to pay attention to the tour, why am I leading you around?” Katherine Plumber, president of the student body, poked at Mush. She adjusted her books in her hands, finally following Mush’s gaze over to Blink.

“Oh no,” she laughed, shaking your head. “Not a chance, buddy. He’s head over heels for Jerkface Delancey. Plus, everyone knows he can’t date until his brother does.”

“What? Who? I mean…” Mush blinked, his mind rolling around all Katherine had said and she let out an audible sigh. 

“Ryan’s his name, but we all call him Blink. He and his brother were adopted by one of the area’s best doctors.” Katherine paused, thinking over just how much Mush really needed to know about the brothers and added a quick, “Because his brother is a year older, their mom has this whole ‘not until he does’ rule with Blink.”

Seeing Mush’s face fall was a little disheartening. Katherine had hoped he wouldn’t have given up that quickly and nudged Mush’s shoulder. 

“Hey, maybe you can start with being friends? Or like a tutor? I don’t know,” she suggested, biting her lip to avoid from breaking her poker face.

“You think?” Mush’s face lit up as if he had never felt sadness before in his life. “I’m...I’m decent at French, maybe I could help him in that?” 

“Perfect!” Katherine patted Mush on the back. “Now, I’m sure we can come up with another plan so when you woo him, you can actually be his boyfriend.”

Katherine’s plotting continued on as she finished off the tour with Mush, the boy wide-eyed and struggling to keep up with her whirling mind. After all, Mush had just seen Blink. The creeping fear that their personalities would be wildly different had snuck up on him, leaving Mush to wonder if this all was such a good idea.

“What’s wrong?” Katherine asked as she escorted him into the classroom. 

“I just…” Mush hesitated. “I don’t know. Are we moving too quickly? I just met you earlier this week, just saw Blink for the first time ever. This could be a big mistake.”

Katherine pondered over Mush’s words, tapping her chin in thought. “I mean, it could. But how can we know for sure until we try? I’d like to believe that some people can just have that spark. An instant connection in whatever form that may be.” 

Finding some empty seats, Mush rested his arms on the desk, his head placed on top of them. “I guess.”

A somber smile formed on Katherine’s face and she poked Mush again. “Blink’s a nice guy. I think at the very least, you two will hit it off as friends.”

Mush turned his face to her, the corners of his mouth twitching. “...I hope so. It’d be nice, for something like that to work out for once.”

Sympathizing with Mush’s situation, Katherine gave his arm a squeeze before the bell rang, floods of students pouring into the classroom. The previous conversation was cut short and the school day began as everyone went to deal with their own lives.


	2. Real Tough Cookie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race has an eventful day while Mush and Katherine come to a realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello i know i have my 30 day challenge, but january has 31 days and i did hint to a couple readers that i would post another chapter of this story before next month
> 
> bah

Race’s day was going from fine to awful in the span of several minutes. Walking into class, there was a weight of dread hanging in the air and Race pursed his lips. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut, but things were never that simple.

After the teacher’s prompted question, Race raised his hand, unperturbed by the low sigh he got in return. Without thinking much over his words, Race stated exactly what he thought as whispers started behind his back. 

The teacher took a moment before standing up straight and staring Race directly in the eye. “Yes, well not all of us have had the same privileges, Mr. Higgins.”

At this, Race couldn’t help but lash out and before he knew it, he was on his way to the office, spewing with anger. 

“If he didn’t want open discussion, why the hell did he do it?” Race mumbled as he waited outside the office.

“Probably to piss you off.”

Turning to the voice, Race glared when he saw another student waiting near the principal’s door. He was flipping a switchblade around in his hand and Race couldn’t help raise his eyebrows. 

“All right, whatever you say,” Race shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall.

Taking another look at him, Race was sure the boy was new. The way he ran a hand through his hair, his shoulder hunched like he was tucking away into a shell - his features and actions stood out to Race in a way no other student had. He wore a tattered plaid button-up that obscured some of the band logo on the shirt underneath, but Race recognized it all the same. No one else in the school had as much affinity for the band as Race did and he couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Nice shirt. Listen to their new album yet?”

The student was silent, his eyes boring into Race before he shrugged and turned his gaze in another direction.

“Yeah. It’s decent.”

Decent wasn’t the word Race was hoping for but he decided against telling the student what he was thinking. “Yeah,” Race chewed on his lip, hoping the conversation wouldn’t end just there.

“What’s your name?” Race blurted out, curiosity getting the best of him.

Again, it was another cold stare before the student shifted in his seat, shoving away the blade. “What’s it to you?”

“Fine. Fuck you then,” Race responded, crossing his arms. 

The student seemed amused by this but before Race could say anything else he was summoned into the office. Words droned on and Race nodded where he needed to before he was finally released. Glancing to where the student had been sitting before, Race frowned when there was no sign of the boy and he shook his head.

He had other priorities to attend to than some new student he’d forget by the end of the year.

~

Soccer practice was supposed to be the one time Race could let off some steam but seeing Blink in the bleachers, blatantly flirting with Oscar, sent Race’s blood pressure to an all time high. 

With a grunt, he aimed his kick towards the bleachers, grinning when the ball smacked Oscar on the side of the head. A whistle blew and Race’s familiar scowl came back as the coach sent him to the bench. 

“No one likes him, I get it. But there needs to be some discipline,” the coach mumbled as Race passed him. 

Race could only bite on the inside of his cheek as he sat down, a huff leaving him unintentionally. Things didn’t have to be this way, but Race was afraid. Afraid of judgement, afraid of his brother hating him even more. There didn’t seem to be a good way to get through this and Race muttered insults to himself, his arms crossed tightly. 

Deep into the bleachers, Katherine and Mush sat off in a corner, Katherine rolling her eyes when Mush let out another pitiful whine.

“Look, you haven’t even started lessons with him. I’m actually surprised Blink accepted.”

“It’s not that,” Mush’s eyebrows furrowed. “I think I’m a good enough guy for Blink to fall for. It’s just...not actually being able to date him.”

Putting a hand on her face, Katherine wanted to scream, but instead squeezed her eyes shut, hoping for a solution to come to her. 

“I mean, obviously, Race has to be dating for you to even have the chance to ask Blink out. So, we find someone for Race. Simple as that.”

As the words left Katherine’s mouth, the idea began to sound better and better, a grin blossoming on her face. She nudged Mush’s arm to get him to look at her, her face painted in an almost comical brightness. Mush backed away a little, but the realization hit him as his stare shifted between Katherine and Blink.

“But who would date Race? A lot of the students don’t seem to like him…”

“Leave that to me.” Katherine was giddy as she thought over just who would be a perfect match for Race.

~

When Race got home that afternoon, all his anger dissipated when he saw an envelope addressed to him in a pile of mail. Ripping the letter open, Race whooped, a fist shooting into the air as he ran into the kitchen. 

To his luck, his mother was home and he waved the letter in her face. “I got in, Ma! They accepted me!”

While he had expected surprise and worry, he hadn’t expected his mother to look so tired as she struggled to congratulate him. 

“I’m proud of you, Race. I really am. California’s a long way...” her voice trailed off and Race’s spirits fell. 

“They’re giving me a scholarship. I’ll come back home every chance I get. I know you wanted me to stay close, keep an eye on Blink during his first year, but Ma...I’m not his keeper.”

Race swallowed, the words foreign on his tongue. He had always been there for Blink, a fierce loyalty that knew no bounds. Yet, there was a need to break away and forge his own path. Maybe it was selfish, but it was all Race could think about. 

“I know, I know,” his mother shook her head, her hand resting on Race’s shoulder. She opened her mouth to say more just as Blink burst through the front door. 

“Oh, shit,” Blink saw the terse moment and backed away to the stairs. “Sorry, I’ll just…” 

Race waved him over, hoping to ease whatever was happening. “It’s cool. We’re just talking. I got into Cali.”

Blink’s smile was comforting and Race almost forgot all else as Blink congratulated him with a warm hug. Then, Race saw Blink shift on his feet, his gaze nervous as he glanced around the kitchen.

“Spill,” Race commanded and Blink’s face went red as he refused to look at Race or their mother.

“Well, the thing is...I...well...Oscar asked me on a date and...and I really want to go! Please, Mom, I’ll do anything, I’ll-” 

Race’s, “Fuck no,” died on his lips as their mother’s hand shot up, her gaze stern and unyielding. 

“You know the rules. Not until Race is seeing someone.”

“But no one at school likes him. He’ll never be dating anyone,” Blink shot back, then taking a step away as a hasty apology spilled out of his mouth.

Race’s eyebrow raised only a little, but he didn’t make a move to argue. Besides Sarah, Race reckoned he could move away and not a single person would bat an eyelash. To say he was unpopular was an understatement. 

“Then you’ll never date,” their mother jabbed a finger at Blink’s chest. “Now, don’t you two have homework to do?”

With a loud groan, Blink marched up the stairs and Race did not miss the insults Blink muttered as he headed to his bedroom. 

“Race, we’ll talk more okay?” 

Nodding, Race didn’t turn back around and grabbed his backpack, his thoughts heavy as his wishes were pulled in every direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here starts the deviation from the movie. i wanted to make this its own story even if most of the plotlines stay the same :d
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	3. A Strand in the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine gets the ball rolling

“I’ve got it,” Katherine slammed her books down next to Mush as he cleaned up the remnants of his chemistry lab. 

Despite being in separate grades, Katherine knew just where to find Mush with impeccable timing. At first, Mush didn’t mind so much, but then he began worrying about what else Katherine had figured out about him.

“I’m so glad I wasn’t holding a test tube,” Mush mumbled, reeling a little from Katherine’s entrance.

Sending an apologetic smile, Katherine moved to the side as she dived into revealing her plan. 

“Okay, you know Spot Conlon?” she spoke low, her head tilting in the direction across from them. 

Mush glanced up, swallowing when Spot come into the classroom as he then took to creating a huge flame from one of the burners. Mush had seen Spot around the school, often scurrying by him as Spot glared at anyone who came too close. Several rumors were abound too and overnight, Mush had taught himself the best way to carry his backpack like a shield.

Spot’s disinterest in lab safety was by no means comforting as he played around with the flame, but Mush wasn’t about to speak up. There was too much glass. 

“I think he’d be the only guy willing to take on the challenge of Race. I mean look at his fuck-all attitude,” Katherine had continued on, oblivious to Mush’s fearful glance.

Mush made a noise of agreement, a thought striking him in the process. “He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to do things for free.”

“Glad you see that too,” Katherine nodded. “So, I was thinking that I’d give Spot a little incentive. Keep him going just enough until you and Blink are solid.”

Mush shook his head, his heart dropping. “Katherine, no. I can’t let you spend your money for me to have a chance with Blink. Besides, what if Blink never likes me more than a friend?”

Katherine’s stare was disapproving at best and she shook her head. “You’re too cute and charming for him not to fall for you, Mush. You want to be with Blink, don’t you?”

“Yes, but–”

“Then it’s settled. If you’re really feeling guilty, then just buy me pizza later,” Katherine waved as the two left the classroom. 

Despite all Katherine said, something still didn’t settle right in Mush’s stomach. By the time he had gotten to the library, all he wanted to do was sleep, take time to think everything over. Then, he saw Blink, waiting at their study table and Mush jogged over, his smile wide.

“You came,” he greeted, sliding into the chair next to Blink’s.

Blink stared for a moment before glancing back at the book, shrugging. “Well, yeah. It’s a tutoring session. Why wouldn’t I come?”

“Oh, I, uh,” Mush’s mind went blank as incoherent words left his mouth.

“Let’s just get started, yeah?” Blink interrupted, flipping a page. 

Shoving down his embarrassment, Mush tugged out his book, lingering thoughts worming into his mind again as he attempted to help Blink through the coursework.

~

Katherine wanted to laugh when she saw Spot hanging near the soccer field, smoking away without a care in the world. She knew the coach couldn’t care less, but Spot’s fearlessness was almost refreshing amongst the usual stuck up snobs of the school. Clamoring down next to him, Katherine didn’t even flinch when Spot blew smoke directly into her face.

“You looking for some extra cash?” She spoke with an air of professionalism, pretending to watch the soccer players practice.

“Maybe. What’s the catch?” 

She wasn’t sure what surprised her, but Katherine cleared her throat, pointing to Race on the field. “You know Racetrack Higgins?”

“Don’t know the guy. Hear plenty about him,” Spot shrugged, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“Then, you know about his family rules. How his brother can’t date unless Race is dating.”

Another puff of smoke, but Katherine ignored it. 

“Get to the point, sister.”

Yanking the cigarette from Spot’s mouth, Katherine stubbed it out on the bleachers and turned to face him directly. “My friend wants to date Blink, so we need to get Race dating. I’ll pay you to date Race. Doesn’t have to be forever, just long enough so my friend and Blink can be official.”

“You want me to date him?” Spot’s eyebrows raised just as Race slammed into another player. 

“Would one hundred dollars be a reasonable start?” 

“Fuck, you’re loaded,” Spot whistled. He took a moment to contemplate the offer before holding out his hand. “You got a deal.”

Katherine took Spot’s hand with an iron grip and then stood, giving Spot one last glare. “Don’t call me ‘sister’ ever again.”

Spot held his hands up in mock surrender as Katherine dropped the bill into his lap. With a nod, Katherine headed down the bleachers, an air of confidence floating around her. Her feet led her way and it wasn’t until she collided with another body that Katherine forced herself to pay attention. 

Before her stood Sarah, a bit miffed as she adjusted her hair. 

“Sorry,” Katherine apologized, her gaze stuck on Sarah. 

Despite being classmates for years, Katherine had never struck up the courage to talk to Sarah. She was ethereal, on some cloud Katherine could only yearn for and she stepped out of the way as Sarah ducked her head.

“It’s okay, Katherine.”

Katherine watched as Sarah went over to the sidelines, tossing Race a forgotten water bottle before heading up to the bleachers. With the plan already in motion, Katherine wondered if perhaps this could be her way to Sarah as she forced herself away from the field to tell Mush of the new developments.

~

Race scowled as he approached his locker. Usually greeted by the sight of Sarah in the morning, he was displeased when he recognized the face of Spot Conlon. 

After enough digging around, Race found out sparse details of Spot, not that any of it mattered. He wasn’t purposefully searching and now, Race could only hope that Sarah would come to shove Spot out of the way.

“Hey, Race,” Spot greeted, moving out of the way as Race opened his locker.

“Since when do you get to call me Race?” Race muttered, covering his combination as Spot peered over his shoulder. 

Spot grinned, shifting back just a little as the locker door swung open. “I wanted to apologize. We got off on the wrong foot. I’m Spot Conlon.”

“Yeah, I know,” Race rolled his eyes as he shuffled his books around. “What, you suddenly want to be all buddy buddy?”

“Why not?” Spot didn’t flinch when Race slammed the locker shut, only trailing after Race down the hall. “You seem like a pretty cool guy. We all know I’m cool so the least we can do is try.”

Race scoffed, already sensing some cruel trick as Spot lingered in his personal space. “Okay, who put you up to this?”

“No one,” Spot’s voice was softer, his face painted in hesitation as Race glared. “I just want to get to know you.”

Squinting, Race attempted to find any signs of deceit. Spot was harder to read than he thought and Race shook his head. 

“Fine. Whatever.”

“Great, it’s a date then,” Spot clapped a hand down on Race’s shoulder, only to have the hand knocked away.

Race had expected an explosion of sorts, but Spot didn’t seem at all bothered to have been pushed away. In fact, he seemed happier with the fact that Race performed such an action.

“I gotta get to class,” Race muttered and sped off, hoping that was enough to tell Spot not to follow.

As he made his way to the room, Race couldn’t help the myriad of emotions that crossed his face. The situation was odd, unasked for, yet exciting. While getting the attention of a probable delinquent was the last thing he needed, Race didn’t throw the idea of Spot away so quickly. 

Once seated next to Sarah, he guessed something big between him and Spot had happened by the way she prodded. Telling her he’d explain later, Race hardly paid attention to the lesson at all, scrambling to find out what game Spot was playing at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i...uh don't know scoob
> 
> [Tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	4. Everybody's Looking For Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot keeps trying

Another week, another school day finished saw Race speed off from the school to the music shop downtown. Most of his afternoons were spent there and with the small reprieve from soccer practice, Race was going to take advantage of his free time.

As he pulled into a parking spot, Race didn’t notice the familiar figure until he had gotten out of the car. With his lips pressed tightly together, Race spun right back around, fumbling around with his keys. He had been patient enough, but Spot coming into his place of solace was beyond the realm of what Race wanted to deal with.

“Hey, Race!” Spot called and Race paused, despite how his mind screamed at him to run.

“What?” Race spat back, opening his car door as a barrier between him and Spot.

Spot shrugged, unbothered by Race’s hostility. “Just saying hi. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Race narrowed his eyes a little, breathing out through his nose. Maybe it all had been coincidence and here he was being a jerk about it. 

“Hi,” Race said through gritted teeth. 

Tires screeched behind him and Race whipped around to see Oscar park his car directly behind his. In the street no less, blocking off everyone as he ran into the drugstore. If Race hadn’t been fuming before, he was now.

“Want to go into the store?” Spot tried to diffuse the conversation, motioning to Oscar’s car for good measure.

“What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?” Race responded tightly, the gears in his mind whirling away, no thanks to Oscar’s arrogance and Spot’s refusal to relent.

Spot smirked, leaning against Race’s car. No one was allowed to do that and Race clenched his fists to keep himself from shoving Spot off.

“Let’s face it. You find me absolutely irresistible.”

Race laughed, short and harsh. “Am I really that superficial? I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.” Adding an eyeroll at the end, Race climbed back into his car. 

Spot’s head thrown back in laughter didn’t annoy Race as much as he thought it would and he backed up quickly, leaving Spot to stumble as Race smashed the back of his car into the side of Oscar’s. 

“What the hell?! That’s my car!” Oscar ran out of the store, screaming at Race. 

Race backed up one more time for good measure. 

“Then park somewhere else, jackass,” he hollered as he drove off. 

As delightful as Oscar’s face of anger was, Race found himself grinning at Spot’s uncontrollable laughter as he sped home. 

With the incoming stress of explaining things to his mother, Race shoved Spot to the back of his mind, hating how he seemed to care more about Spot’s laughter than the money he’d be losing.

~

“Yo, Meyers.”

Mush looked up from his magazine, fear bubbling up in his stomach as Spot approached the counter. How Spot had managed to find his workplace, Mush wasn’t about to ask, but he was worried at the very least.

“Yes?” he squeaked out, then breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Katherine enter the store shortly after. 

“Spot was wondering here if you had any ideas of how to break Race’s shell,” she explained. “So far he’s about as friendly as a cactus.”

Mush raised his eyebrows in agreement and tapped the counter trying to think if Blink had said anything about Race. If he hadn’t been so focused on Blink’s face he might’ve remembered something, but Mush knew he was a lost cause. 

“I think Blink said that Race likes pretty guys,” Mush’s eyebrows furrowed, wondering why that of all things popped into his head.

Spot was taken aback and he frowned. “Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?”

Katherine and Mush glanced between Spot and each other as they stumbled over their words.

“He’s very pretty. He’s a gorgeous guy,” Katherine spluttered out first followed by Mush’s fearful, “Yeah, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know.”

Spot’s wide eyes relaxed a bit, a smirk growing on his face.

“You’re a gorgeous guy,” Katherine patted Spot on the back, her hand quickly retreating when he glared at it.

“S-so, maybe you just need to show him you’re human?” Mush treaded carefully. “Like that you care about things and stuff.”

Spot laughed a little at this, shaking his head at the two. “You both sure know what you’re doing, don’t you?” he teased before pushing off of the counter. 

Mush tried to ignore the numerous fingerprints Spot had left on the glass. He had just cleaned it after all. 

“Thanks for the tip,” Spot waved, leaving the two friends be.

Katherine and Mush sighed simultaneously and Mush wondered if Katherine was developing a headache like he was.

“How screwed are we?” Mush watched Spot disappear around the corner, the little monster of doubt chewing at his brain.

When there was no reply from Katherine, Mush turned to look at her only to see her greeting Sarah as she entered the store. With his shift half over, Mush searched his cubbyhole for some aspirin and had enough time to put on a smile as Katherine dragged Sarah over, the two deep in conversation he would never have a chance to catch up on.

~

It had been a long week. 

All Race wanted was to think about nothing else besides the guitar in his hands and the melody his fingers were strumming out. For just a little while, the world faded away as Race became lost in the music. 

Every week, he had promised himself he’d buy the guitar, and every week the money went somewhere else. It was all necessary, but Race couldn’t help his selfishness in wanting the instrument. Just like his dream school, he worked hard for the guitar and all he could do was hope the store owner would keep it on hold long enough. 

At least he could play it whenever he wanted, writing the music in his head as he plucked at the strings.

If Race’s mind hadn’t been wandering and the headphones weren’t blocking out all other noise, he might have noticed the sudden entrance of a familiar face. Maybe then he would’ve been given a chance to sprint out of there. It was too late now and Race whipped his head around when a finger tapped on his shoulder.

“What the hell do you want?” Race grimaced as he reluctantly tugged down his headphones. 

“Touchy,” Spot shot back and crossed his arms. “Just wanted to ask you a question.”

Race waited, his answer already negative at best as Spot glanced around the music shop. “Which record player do you think is better?” He pointed at a few displays and Race rolled his eyes.

“Don’t know why you think I’m an expert there,” Race stared at his choices, frowning when he knew exactly which one Spot should buy. “Go for the red one there. Not as pricey, still just as good.”

The corners of Spot’s mouth turned up and Race ignored the slight stutter in his heartbeat. He blamed it on bad food as Spot glanced back at him. 

“You know I’m not going to bite,” Spot egged on. “I’m just trying to be friendly.”

Race let out a low, cynical laugh. “Yeah. Friendly. I’ve heard that before.”

If there was one constant in Race’s life, it was the grudges he held onto. They kept him safe, despite the gnawing in his chest. Forgiveness seemed forever out of reach and by now, Race had accepted that he’d always carry an anger that kept him separate.

“You’re a handful, Race. But I like you,” Spot sighed as he shifted the backpack on his shoulder. “Maybe someday I’ll get to call you an acquaintance.”

With that, Spot departed as quickly as he had shown up, leaving Race with a lingering emptiness. Going back to his guitar playing seemed pointless and Race swallowed down the lump that started to form in his throat. 

After putting all the equipment away, Race trudged to his car, a wish for a happier time consuming his every thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhh
> 
>  
> 
> [Chumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	5. Distant Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race talks to Blink and Katherine bugs Spot
> 
> (Please read the note at the beginning before proceeding)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** Mention of attempted sexual assault in this chapter. It doesn't go into detail but still warning to be safe.

When frustrated talking reached Race’s ears as he entered the house, he sighed, knowing all too well what his brother was up to.

Race’s arrival broke the conversation and Blink ran up the stairs with a huff, not even offering Race a hello.

“What’s going on, Ma?” Race looked up the stairs as she came out of the kitchen to hug him. 

“He wants to grow up too quickly,” she sighed, a hand resting on Race’s arm. “I just want both of you to be safe. To be ready. I don’t think he is.”

Race shifted on his feet, placing his hand on top of his mother’s. “I’ll go talk to him. See what I can figure out.”

His mother raised her eyebrows, but said nothing and Race gave her a thankful smile. After dropping his things in his bedroom, Race made his way to Blink’s, his heart hammering in his chest. He could hear the TV on, Blink’s way of saying he didn’t want to talk, but Race hoped his brother would allow this one exception. Taking a deep breath, Race pushed himself forward. It was now or never.

He knocked, lighter than he wished, and almost cheered when he heard a small, “Come in,” come through the door. 

Entering slowly, Race closed the door behind him as Blink shut off his TV, his face a sullen frown. Rolling from his stomach to a seated position, Blink refused to look at Race as he tugged a pillow in front of him like some sort of barrier.

“What do you want?” Blink pouted and Race sat down at Blink’s desk before starting on a well-practiced speech.

“I know you want to date, Blink,” Race began despite the scoff he received in return. “And heck, if there was a way to get someone to like me, I’d have no problem with it. It’s Oscar who I don’t like.”

“Yeah, obviously,” Blink interrupted, refusing to look at Race.

Race swallowed, his nerves getting the best of him. He hadn’t talked to anyone about this and Sarah was the only one who knew the complete truth. Race had been young, naive. It took so long for Sarah to convince him that Oscar was to blame, but even then Race never saw himself as innocent. He had led Oscar on, and in Race’s mind, it was as simple as that.

“I dated Oscar back in freshman year,” Race’s voice shook and his hands wrung together.

This time, it was him who could not look into his brother’s eye and he could feel the piercing stare.

“What?” Blink sounded confused, giving Race the confidence he needed to continue on.

“Yeah,” Race nodded, his eyes flickering around before he met Blink’s gaze. “I was head over heels, refused to see what I do now. We had been dating a few months and there was this big party. I drank too much and he…”

Race blinked back his tears, his breathing shuddered and weak. All he could think was how it was his own fault. He didn’t know how to control himself.

“I mean, luckily, Sarah had been there to get him off of me, but…”

Covering his face with his hands, Race sighed heavily and waited. There was sure to be insults, mockery, just as there had been the weeks following the party.

“Race...I’m so sorry.”

Soft and reassuring were two words Race hardly ever placed with Blink. Yet there they were and there was Blink hugging him tight. 

“How did I miss that? Why didn’t you tell me?” Blink continued to hold onto Race and Race pulled his hands down from his face, letting his tears fall freely. 

“Never mind that last question,” Blink muttered before squeezing Race again. 

“Didn’t want you involved in it. It was bad enough that everyone cast me out. You didn’t need that in your life. I...think it was Katherine Plumber who took control over things, but I don’t really remember.” 

Wiping his face, Race’s chest ached. Had he known how understanding Blink would be, that he would’ve had someone else to support him, he wouldn’t have tried to hide it. But, Race wanted Blink to have a normal school life even if it meant the cost of his own reputation. 

“Fuck Oscar,” Blink spat, his cheek laying on Race’s shoulder. “I’ll punch him the next time I see him.”

Race laughed a little at this, wondering where this side of Blink had been all along as his tears dried up. Then, Blink groaned and Race knew his brother was back to his usual self.

“I told him I’d go to the party with him on Saturday. Shit.”

“And how were you planning to go to that party?” Race prodded, dangling their mother’s rules over Blink’s head.

Blink glared just a little and flopped back onto his bed. “Well, of course my amazing brother would go so I could. But, I don’t want to deal with Oscar and there’s not really anyone else I could ask.”

Race’s spirits were lifting as hardened emotions began to break and he sat next to Blink on the bed. “What about that guy I see you in the library with?”

“Mush?” Blink furrowed his brows. “I mean he’s nice, but I don’t think he likes me that way.”

“A guy is willing to tutor you in French, a language you’re conversationally fluent in, I might add, and you think he doesn’t like you?” Race balked and poked Blink in the side. “Also, why didn’t you tell him you speak it?”

Slapping Race’s hand, Blink shuffled away. “He was so nice when he asked me, I couldn’t say no. Do you really think he might?”

Picking up Blink’s phone from his nightstand, Race held it out to him. “Call him. If he says yes, I’ll take you to the party.”

There was a thick silence in the air before Race found himself tackled to the bed in a large hug and Blink spilling out thank you’s without taking a breath. 

“All right, all right, get off me,” Race shoved Blink away, but not without a grin on his face. “I’m going to my room, but let me know, okay?” 

Race didn’t receive a response as Blink had already called Mush up and he could only smile at his brother. Leaving Blink to plan things out, Race suddenly felt the need to sleep as he headed to his room. Collapsing on his bed, Race let exhaustion take him over and for the first time in years, he slept soundly.

~

“So, how are things going?” Katherine asked as she sat down next to Spot. 

It was almost comical how easy it was to find Spot. Wherever Race was, Spot was in the distance and she couldn’t help think that Spot was beginning to crush on Race rather than doing it all for show.

“I don’t know,” Spot pursed his lips and Katherine shoved him a fifty. “Fine. You know the party on Saturday? I think I’ll take him to it.”

“Showing off to the student body. I like it,” Katherine bit her lip thoughtfully. 

After Mush showed up at her house, shouting about Blink’s invitation, she wondered if paying Spot would still be needed. Curiosity was getting the best of her however and she knew how to back out should she have to. 

“What do you think about him?” She tapped her chin in thought as the two watched the team practice.

“He’s a guy?” Spot shrugged. “I haven’t been able to get a good read on him besides stuck-up asshole.”

“Same could be said for you,” Katherine muttered, holding back her laughter when Spot glared at her. 

Groaning, Spot slid down the bleacher into a tight curled position and Katherine frowned. “What the hell do you want me to say, Plumber? He’s fine. That’s it.”

Katherine had hoped Spot would be a little more open, but she let him be, her gaze following Sarah as she stood by the sidelines. Small words of poetry were drifting into Katherine’s mind, a small smile dancing across her face. In another world, she’d have the confidence to approach Sarah right now, but her feet remained planted.

“Way to not be obvious,” Spot snorted. 

This earned him a smack in return and a hasty, “Hush you,” before Katherine grabbed her bag to flee the scene.

Spot merely waved in response and Katherine sped away just as Sarah looked over her shoulder at the bleachers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *lays face down on the floor and stays there for 20 years*
> 
> [Wumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	6. Take Me Home Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday's party and the events thereafter

Saturday night came too quickly for Race’s liking, but he had promised Blink and to no one’s surprise, Mush was coming to pick Blink up.

“We’ll be okay. I’ve done this before,” Race reassured their mother as she fussed over the two of them. “Plus, Sarah will be there.”

At the mention of Sarah’s name, their mother instantly relaxed only to then tense up again when the doorbell rang. Blink gave both Race and their mother a warning look before he opened the door to see Mush shifting nervously on the porch. 

“Hi, Blink!” Mush’s voice pitched up and he cleared his throat. “Ready to go?” 

With a bright grin, Blink grabbed Mush by the hand, dragging him away before Race could even have a chance to say anything. 

“All right, I gotta fly, Ma,” Race shook his head. “Don’t worry about a thing okay?” 

After a quick goodbye, Race managed to see Blink hop into Mush’s car and his gaze was torn away when he was greeted by the sight of Spot coming up the walk.

“Um…” Race shuffled behind a bannister on the porch, not caring how childish he was being.

“Just thought I’d offer to take you to the party. It’s cheaper to carpool, you know?”

Race considered his options, knowing either way he’d have to deal with Spot sometime during the night. The band-aid needed to be ripped off and Race shot past Spot off the porch.

“I’m driving,” Race held up his keys, not even bothering to check if Spot was following. 

Climbing into his car, Race simply watched as Spot followed suite into the passenger side and he drove the car off, praying for Sarah to be at the party when they arrived. 

The ride was awkward at best with no conversation as the music blasted between them. At the very least, Spot didn’t seem bothered by Race’s music choice and Race counted that in his favor. It didn’t do much to quell the other worries raging in Race’s mind however, his doubts still pulling him the opposite direction that was Spot. By the time they had arrived at the party, Race sprinted into the house and away from Spot, scanning the partygoers for any sign of Sarah. 

When he finally did track down the girl, he found her preoccupied with Katherine and Race did his best to take this with a grain of salt. It wasn’t as if Sarah was supposed to entertain him for the night, but he had hoped to spend a little time with her. 

Looking for the nearest drink, Race grabbed a beer, taking heavy gulps from it as he searched around for Mush and Blink. He could hear Oscar on the second level and grimaced, hoping Blink and Mush were avoiding that area of the house. As if the world was against him, Race couldn’t find the boys on the first floor, a pit in his stomach growing. 

Steeling himself, he pushed through the students on the stairs until he had reached another crowded room, barely catching Blink and Mush diving behind a couch. Race glanced in the opposite direction, spotting Oscar who was searching the room with a determination that sent a chill down Race’s spine. 

Taking another swig of his drink, Race brought himself to intercept Oscar, sending him back with a hard shove. 

“Leave my brother alone, Delancey.” Despite the noise, Race’s voice rang loud and clear and he straightened himself up as Oscar laughed.

“Jealous much?” Oscar shot with an awful grin, pushing past Race with a hard knock to his shoulder. 

Insults sat on his tongue, but Race shut himself up with another sip of beer as Oscar headed out of the room, away from where Blink and Mush were hiding. When the two peeked their heads out from behind the couch, Race only gave them a pointed stare before searching for a corner to seclude himself in. 

He didn’t know how many beers he had gotten through as the evening wore on, the party fading away into a muted scene. This was all for Blink’s sake, but with the stress, the crowded space, Race was burrowing further and further into his mind. He found himself wishing for someone’s - even Spot’s - company just so his thoughts wouldn’t be trapped in an endless loop. 

Race blinked when the crowd parted for a moment and he saw Spot approaching him. His face held no malice, his posture of one who had seen this all before, and Race could feel his hand reaching out. He wanted to meet him halfway, to smile, laugh with him. Race watched his hand in confusion before snapping it down, panic washing over him. Shooting up from his seat, Race stumbled away but he couldn’t say why he was running. 

Bumping into a table, Race struggled to keep his balance but his feet tangled up and he was sent sprawling. No one seemed to notice as Race tried to stand up again, but his body was refusing to cooperate, his limbs acting like dead weight. Firm hands grabbed his arms and Race didn’t fight as he was placed back on his feet. 

His arm was slung over a shoulder, leaving Race to just stare as Spot dragged him outside. After much stumbling around, Race found himself being sat down on a swing and he rested his head against the chains. 

The cool air was a relief, Race taking a moment to look up at the stars before watching Spot join him on the other swing. Spot’s serious look, his slow rocking on the swing was something Race didn’t know he’d enjoy seeing. There was no need to show off, no walls to put up and Race leaned towards Spot, his hand brushing against Spot’s arm.

“Hey, you look real nice tonight,” Race slurred, his gaze flickering about. 

He thought he could see a smile begin to form across Spot’s face as a need to laugh grew within himself. Except laughter was something else and Race shot forward as he threw up the contents of the night.

Miraculously, it was only Spot’s shoe that received the brunt of the disaster. Race thought he heard Spot sigh, but all he could focus on was Spot wiping off his face and then helping him walk. 

The next moments were a blur, Sarah coming into focus, Blink’s voice echoing in his ears. When Race could steady his mind for just a moment, he stared up at his house from the passenger seat of his car. 

“How’d I get here?” he mumbled, his body aching for sleep.

“Magic,” Spot replied and Race giggled. 

The alcohol was still heavy on his brain, but Race was grateful that Spot had taken him home. Now, it was just getting into bed and Race figured it was time to get out of the car. There was needing to thank Spot however, a brilliant thought coming to Race’s mind as his stomach churned. 

Leaning over to the driver’s side, Race moved in, his lips inches away from Spot’s face before Spot shifted away.

“You’re drunk, Race. Let’s just get you inside.”

This wasn’t what Race had expected. All he wanted to do was to kiss Spot. There were no strings attached.

“I can get inside myself. Thanks,” Race frowned. Irrationality had taken over his brain but Race didn’t fight it as he got out of the car, his mind clear enough for him to grab his keys.

Without a goodbye, Race marched up the steps to his house while Spot remained in the car, forehead pressed against the steering wheel.

~

Processing what Sarah had just asked him, Race could only respond with a blink and slow nod. He wasn’t even given a chance to say much else as Sarah sprinted away, taking a seat next to Katherine under a nearby tree. 

Lunch had always been a lonely affair, but with Sarah gone, Race began to realize just how much of an outcast he really was. Years didn’t seem to change a thing and he took a reluctant bite of his sandwich, his initial hunger dissipating with every chew. 

“Hey, free seat.”

Race rubbed his forehead as he heard the clunk of a tray and the presence of someone sitting on the bench next to him. Not having exchanged a word since Saturday, Race didn’t know where to start with to Spot. It didn’t help that he remembered how foolish he had acted, draping on Spot like some kid with a middle school crush.

Scooting away, Race stopped once he was at the edge of the table and took another harsh bite as Spot moved closer to him.

“So, what do you think about the calc test next week?” Spot began in between bites of food. When Race didn’t reply, Spot continued the conversation with a shrug. “I think it’ll be a breeze. I mean, he’s letting us have notecards. Christ, if I had that at my old school, I would’ve actually tried.”

Race tried not to listen, but he found himself catching all of Spot’s words, wanting to reply. Race couldn’t decide if this was better than talking about Saturday’s mistakes, his food long forgotten as he picked at splinters on the table.

“Well, enough chit chat.”

The words made Race’s stomach drop and he readied himself for Spot to laugh in his face or break off whatever they had for good. Race didn’t enjoy how terrifying the second option felt as the seconds ticked by.

“Want to go to prom together?”

Spot might as well have been speaking another language as Race dared to look at him. He reckoned a punch to the face would’ve been more welcoming than this game Spot was playing.

“I...I don’t go to prom. I don’t go to anything besides the soccer games,” Race stumbled over his words. 

Heat rose to his face and he leaned away as Spot leered at him. Race had always been anti-extracurricular. His senior year wasn’t going to change that. Race’s heart thrummed in his chest as Spot took his time staring and he glanced in the sky for any stray meteors shooting for Earth.

“It’d just be one night. I think we’d have a good time,” Spot shrugged, his voice small. 

Race’s mind went into a frenzy at the options presented before him. He certainly, absolutely didn’t like Spot in that way, yet Spot’s reaction hurt more than Race imagined. Spot was right after all. It was one night, they didn’t have to be anything. Hell, it could even be one last fuck you to the school, the two of them causing a scene that would go down in history with the students. 

Doubt tore at Race’s heart then, overpowering all else. In the end, it all could be a horrible prank leaving Race in a worse state than he already was. He couldn’t risk that even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness to avoid any impending disasters. 

“I’ll have to think about it,” Race responded, picking at his sandwich again. 

He could see the frustration flash across Spot’s face, but his cool composure took over and Spot shook his head. 

“Can’t keep going into a shell every time someone shows you interest, Race.”

With the bubble burst, Race felt something hot prick at the back of his eyes as Spot left him alone at the table. Watching him go, a weight pressed down on Race’s shoulders and he fled to the safety of a bathroom, his beating heart a dull pain in his chest. 

Breaths catching in his throat, Race folded into himself, his mind swimming through his confusion. Maybe Spot was his chance and here he was throwing it all away. As he clawed through his fears, Race let himself cry in the bathroom, his heart pulling him one way while his mind dragged him the other. 

There were no second chances for someone like him, but for the rest of the day all Race could think about was how Spot still came around as if Race was worth his time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spot remembered to lock race's car before he left don't worry
> 
> [Wumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	7. They Talk About Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double dating and perhaps something more

With the weekend finally arriving, Race was looking forward to hiding up in his room, taking some time to himself. Sarah was busy with Katherine so it wasn’t as if he could ask her to hang out anyway. He wondered where the sudden interest in Katherine began, but Race hoped it wasn’t anything too serious. He didn’t want to become a third wheel to yet another couple.

The knock on his door dragged him from his thoughts and he rolled off his bed to open the door. 

“What’s up, Blink?” Race asked, resting his head on the side of the door. 

“Um, well,” Blink scratched the back of his neck, shifting back and forth. “I was hoping to go out with Mush today, but you know how Mom is and…”

Blink trailed off, a hope in his eye for Race to finish and Race found himself nodding before he could stop it. 

“Let me just call up someone and then we can go,” Race answered, then wondering where these words were coming from. There wasn’t anyone he could call up, but Blink didn’t question as he rushed back to his room.

Digging through his papers, Race hoped something would strike him and he paused when he saw unfamiliar handwriting on one of his assignments. 

_Give me a call._

_Spot xx_

Below the signature sat a phone number and Race scrambled to remember when Spot ever had a chance to write on his notes. Figuring he could ask later, Race grabbed his phone, taking a deep breath in. 

Whatever he was doing, he was sure to regret it, but he made no move to stop himself as he dialed Spot’s number.

~

Race had to admit it was kind of cute that Mush wanted to bring Blink to an ice cream parlor. While it was one the brothers knew all too well, Race watched fondly as Blink listened to Mush talk about the different flavors. Blink’s usual snark and eye-roll was absent, his face in the biggest grin Race had seen to date. 

Taking a seat in a corner, Race gave the two their space and on occasion gave Mush a stern look when they made eye contact. It never lasted long as Race couldn’t help breaking into a smile over Mush’s reddened face, his approval of Mush growing with every moment.

“What a creep.”

Race laughed and glanced up at Spot hovering near his table. “Hey, I’m just looking out for my brother. You’re the creep watching me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Spot scrunched his nose and sat down, looking over at Blink and Mush. “He seems happy. They both do.”

Race nodded in agreement, clearing his throat when Spot turned his attention back. “Want anything?”

“Whatever you’re getting,” Spot shrugged. 

Shooting up, Race went to the counter to get some ice cream and came back with two sundaes, only hoping Spot liked caramel and chopped nuts as much as he did.

“We’re a dying breed,” Spot gave the ice cream a once over before digging in. “Thought I was alone in the caramel nut hell.”

Race’s laugh came out sputtered and he slapped a hand over his mouth. “Caramel nut hell?” He repeated back when he finally regained composure.

“Let’s just say my cousin got broccoli shoved in their ear that day,” Spot smirked before taking another spoonful of ice cream.

Race couldn’t help notice how slow Spot pulled the spoon out of his mouth and he dove back into his ice cream to stop any stray thoughts. The two remained in silence after that, but Race was stuck in a loop of impending unknowns as he glanced between his brother and Spot.

As if in tune to Race’s frantic mind, Spot was quick to bring up a new subject. 

“So, what’s their plan after this?” 

Race breathed out, his nerves calming just a little, and he shook his head. “Dunno. I think they wanted to walk around or something.”

Spot mulled over what Race had said, tapping his spoon against his chin. “You trust your brother, right?”

“I mean, as any brother does,” Race eyed Spot warily.

“Solid. Then let’s split up from them. Can’t imagine you want to stalk your brother all day.”

Race realized then that Spot had finished up his ice cream and was waiting for Race to do the same. While he didn’t thoroughly enjoy the idea of leaving Blink to his own devices, he had to admit that spending the day with Spot sounded entertainable at the very least. Scarfing down the last of his ice cream, Race motioned for Spot to lead the way.

As they left the shop, Race made sure to catch Blink’s attention and tried not to feel too heartbroken over Blink’s huge grin after their silent conversation had been exchanged.

Whether it was to Race’s relief or not, Spot jumped right back into chatting. Race did his best to keep up, but Spot switched subjects after each sentence until Race caught on to the pattern. 

“Your brother seems nice. A lot like my dog. My dog’s dead. Dad liked the dog more than me. My aunt’s house is cool.”

Race waited for Spot to take a breath, but he continued on his stories even after they had reached their destination. Race merely raised an eyebrow at the arena, the neon colors, but didn’t say a word.

He was focused on Spot, the things he had learned in such a short time. What Race had done to prompt this, he didn’t know and wondered if he’d have to do the same to appease Spot as they put on the white outfits they had just been handed.

“That’s why I don’t go to Queens now,” Spot had ended his thoughts with a final nod, looking at Race for a response.

“Makes sense,” Race answered, piecing through the information Spot had dumped on him. 

Broken home, being tossed around, it appeared as if the rumors that followed Spot weren’t without their warrants. Race opened his mouth to say something out of comfort and was cut off when Spot all but threw him into the enclosed area. 

A balloon of paint smacking into his arm pulled him from his daze and he gaped at Spot. With a smirk of his own, the battle began in the paint-splattered field, Spot shooting away from Race’s throws. Making a few lucky shots, Race found Spot had impeccable aim and by the time he ran out of balloons, Spot had only a few stains compared to Race’s dripping suit. 

Seeing Spot testing another balloon in his hand, Race made a run for it, slowing down when he didn’t hear anything coming towards him. Then, the breath was knocked out of him and Race fell flat on his back as a balloon was smashed onto his chest. 

“You fucker,” Race laughed as Spot hovered before him, a proud grin on his face. 

Calming down his laughter, Race couldn’t help notice how Spot made no move to get off of him and he matched Spot’s serious expression. Race had never felt like this before. He was comfortable, secure, handing Spot a trust that he closely guarded. Becoming lost in Spot’s eyes, Race sensed so much behind the rigid, yet welcoming stare. It wasn’t a picturesque moment, but it was theirs nonetheless. Race’s stomach twisted when Spot’s hand held onto his arm and he ignored the resistance in his mind. 

Wrapping his hand around the back of Spot’s neck, Race tugged him down until their lips met. There were no fireworks, no cheers, just shared sighs of content. 

Their mouths moved together as if they had shared this all before, a lifetime spilled through gentle touches and mingled breaths. 

~

It was Mush who brought it up first.

“You think so?” Katherine expressed her doubt, but Mush was ernest.

“I mean, he came to meet up with Race when Blink and I had our date. I’d say he might actually care for Race,” Mush shrugged. 

While Katherine had her suspicions, she didn’t expect to be right. Then again, Spot was burning a hole in her pocket. To be rid of the payments would be a relief, not to mention having proof behind her theories all along. She figured she could talk to Spot before her study hall and she gave Mush a quick goodbye as they headed to the next class. 

As Katherine jogged down the hallway, the goal of Spot was almost forgotten when she saw Sarah running over to her. 

“I forgot something at my locker, but I’ll see you in study hall, okay?” Katherine reassured Sarah, who nodded with a smile. 

Back on her destination, Katherine was relieved to find Spot at his locker and she motioned him to follow her into a quieter hallway as he collected his things. Once they were away from some of the crowds, Katherine began her badgering. Met with resistance, she pressed on until Spot gave in.

“Okay, fine, maybe I do like him a little,” Spot blushed, rubbing his arm. 

“And?” Katherine asked eagerly. While she was just trying to show her support, she could tell Spot thought otherwise and he shook his head.

“So, you don’t need to pay me anymore. I’m with him because I want to be.”

The answer filled Katherine with glee and she held herself back from crushing Spot in a hug.

“Well, at least, let me give you one last payment as thanks for putting up with this in the first place.” 

Digging out some cash, Katherine waited expectantly. Spot didn’t rush to take the money and she thrust it towards to him until Spot plucked it out of her hand like it was garbage. 

“See you around, Katherine,” Spot muttered before he headed up the stairs. 

Giving him a smile he wouldn’t see, Katherine shot back to study hall and frowned when she saw Sarah in a frazzled mess when she entered the classroom.

“What happened?” Katherine asked when she sat next to her, surprised when Sarah jumped.

“Nothing, nothing.” Sarah’s reply was too hasty and it was followed by an unconvincing, “My grade for English wasn’t as high as I thought it was.” 

Seeing how distracted Sarah looked, Katherine decided against pressing the subject and turned to her writing assignment. With prom so close, she didn’t want the night to be jeopardized, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Sarah was hiding something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i almost forgot that i was going to post another chapter before sunday lmao
> 
> [Tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	8. Watching In Slow Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is here and so are emotions

“Ma, stop,” Race swatted his mother’s hand away as she adjusted his tie for the fifth time that night. 

“Well, it’s not every day that both of my sons are going to prom,” she eyed him and Race chose to ignore the slight pitch in her voice.

With Blink pacing in the hall, Race knew it was up to him to make this night as perfect as possible and he smiled at his mother.

“We’ll keep an eye out for each other. Promise,” Race reassured. 

After the incident with the party, Race’s mother was reluctant to let Blink do anything else with Mush. Taking the brunt of the responsibility, Race had finally gained freedom for Blink, but it was not without its struggles.

“Don’t you remember Mush? He’s sweet.”

The doorbell rang just as Race finished his sentence and he chuckled as his mother ushered him to the door. Blink already had the door thrown open, freezing as he and Mush stared at each other in awe. 

“Hey, Blink, why don’t you introduce your boyfriend,” Race broke their moment, hiding behind the door as the introductions began.

Mush was polite as ever, impressing Race even more than before with his kind gestures. After mentioning his interest in engineering, the first smile of the evening appeared on his mother’s face and Race glanced at Blink to confirm that Mush really did plan on pursuing an engineering major. Blink merely shrugged, but Race didn’t have to say much else as everyone’s attention was turned to the porch. 

Furrowing his brows, Race peeked past the door, his breath catching in his throat. Spot stood plain as day, box in hand and wearing a fitted suit. Standing tall, he had a confidence that radiated off of him, if not a little intimidating, as Race’s mother attempted to start another conversation.

“Great, time’s a-wastin. Let’s go, Blink,” Race jumped into action, dragging Spot away as Blink and Mush rushed out after them. “Bye, Mom!”

The four laughed as they went to their respective cars, finally on their way to prom. The conversation was light and Spot placed the box in Race’s lap as they drove. Inside, Race found a blue flower to match Spot’s red one and he blushed as he pinned the flower to his lapel. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, his body growing warmer as Spot held onto his hand. 

Once they arrived at the venue, Race checked in with Blink one last time before the two split off. It was crowded with a generic theme, matching balloons, tablecloths, and Race rolled his eyes at how silly this all was. 

“Ready to make a scene?” Spot spoke close to Race’s ear and Race threw his head back as he laughed.

“Hell yeah.”

The two headed towards the dance floor, ignoring the stares as a fast song boomed through the speakers. Race motioned for Spot to start, the beat making him antsy, until he saw how effortlessly Spot moved with the music. Had he known Spot was this good of a dancer, he might’ve been the one asking Spot to prom. Throwing all his cares away, Race joined in and the two danced, oblivious to everyone else besides Race’s occasional glance for Sarah. She had mentioned coming along with Katherine and Race felt a little guilty for not searching for her first. Then Spot grabbed his hands, leaving Race to be swept up in the thrill of the night.

On the other side of the room, Katherine and Sarah stood in a corner, a thick silence between them. 

“I want us to have a good time tonight, Sarah,” Katherine shook her head. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Sarah’s eyes flickered, but Katherine held strong, wishing she could read Sarah’s mind.

“I thought Race was joking when he said he was coming. But now he’s here. With Spot.” Glancing over at Spot and Race, Sarah sighed, a hand pressed to her face. “I saw something and I need to know the truth.” 

Katherine’s stomach dropped as Sarah’s voice trailed off and she pursed her lips. She wasn’t going to lie, but she wished they were somewhere else than prom.

“You gave money to Spot, asked him about Racetrack. I couldn’t...were you paying him to date Race? Is everything just a lie and Race will end up a laughing stock again?”

Sarah was on the verge of tears, his face in tight anger and Katherine grabbed onto Sarah’s arm.

“I was paying Spot, that much is true. Mush really wanted to date Blink and we all know what rules were hanging over him,” Katherine’s voice shook, her composure faltering under Sarah’s raging eyes. “What you saw, it was just thanking him. Spot’s feelings for Race are real, Sarah, I promise you that. Please believe me.”

Sarah’s silence was agonizing and she brushed away a stray tear. “You swear he means it?”

“I swear. On us, I swear.”

Nodding, Sarah grabbed Katherine’s hand. “We need to tell Race. Spot needs to tell Race.”

“I know,” Katherine bit on her lip. She had intended on talking to Spot about that but worry over Sarah had occupied most of her thoughts. “We should do it as soon as possible. Before anyone else finds out.”

Had Katherine been paying more attention, she would’ve noticed the listening ear, the horrible grin and the figure that disappeared into the crowd. By the time Sarah noticed Oscar approaching Race, the two rushed to the dance floor, shoving past other students in attempt to stop the impending disaster.

“What the hell do you want, Delancey?” Race scowled as Oscar hovered near him. 

Without question, Spot placed himself between Oscar and Race, only to receive sharp laughter in return.

“Really? You’re actually going to act like you care about him?”

“Newsflash, I do, asshole,” Spot bit, his hand reaching back towards Race.

Oscar’s smile opened too many wounds and Race could feel his breath quicken. He tugged at Spot’s hand, hoping that was enough to tell Spot to get them the hell out of there, but Oscar was faster.

“Well, if I had Plumber paying me to date him, I would too.”

Race blinked and he wished he hadn’t noticed how Spot’s shoulders tensed up. 

“That’s right, Tony,” Oscar sneered. “Good ol’ Kat has been paying Conlon here to date you. All so your brother could be with Meyers.”

Spot turned quickly, the truth in his eyes sending Race in a downwards spiral. “It’s true, Race, but not any more. I fell in love with you, there’s no more payments–”

“Shut up,” Race interrupted, his voice unfamiliar and hollow. 

Stepping away from Spot, Race shoved his way off the dance floor, ignoring Spot calling after him. 

Spot’s steps hesitated for just a moment as he turned back to Oscar, his hands forming fists at his sides. Ready to wipe the smirk off Oscar’s face, Spot shot forward only to be shoved back by Blink.

“Go after my brother,” Blink gritted out before spinning around and smashing his fist into Oscar’s jaw. 

The dance was in disarray as Spot raced out of there, a hard look shared between him and Katherine as he sped by her. Catching up to Race on the stairs, Spot grabbed onto his arm, stumbling back as Race shoved him.

“That’s all it was, huh?!” Race shouted, his face red. “Just some quick cash and another way to humiliate me?!”

“No, fucking hell, no,” Spot shot back, his voice quiet, small. “If it was all for money, I wouldn’t have...God, Race, I care about you so much. You’re…”

“Save it for someone who gives a shit.”

With a tight spin, Race continued his march down the stairs, heat pricking at the back of his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to see Spot’s face, hear his excuses, yet an ache in his chest grew when Spot didn’t follow. 

When an arm wrapped around his shoulders, Race tried to shrug it off, but it remained firm.

“Sarah’s driving us home.”

Hearing Blink’s voice was the final straw and Race didn’t hide the tears that fell down his face as Blink led him out of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um
> 
> [Wumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	9. There's No Comfort In The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids aren't alright (not yet)

Coming home was numb. 

Blink had somehow talked their mother from leaving them alone and Race found himself sitting between Blink and Sarah on Blink’s bed. The only source of light in the room came from the TV, illuminating the three as Sarah rested her head on Race’s shoulder and Blink passed a bowl of popcorn between them.

Race huffed again, his tears since dried up, but anger still consuming his every thought. He knew he should’ve trusted his gut from the start. Even their kiss was starting to leave a bad taste in his mouth. To make matters worse all he could see was Spot’s face and the memories of how good it felt when they spent time together. 

“I’m sorry for ruining the evening for both of you,” Race spoke, wanting to think about something else besides the pit in his stomach.

“You didn’t,” Blink spoke up first to Race’s surprise. “I got to punch a Delancey. I’d say it was a pretty solid evening. Sorry your ex is a jerk.”

Race let out what sounded like a strangled laugh and shook his head. “He’s not my ex. We weren’t even...”

He could see Blink’s eyebrow raise and he looked at Sarah for help. With a heavy sigh, Sarah straightened herself up, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Katherine, Spot, Mush, all three of them didn’t think this through. Maybe it was selfishness but I don’t doubt their feelings. It’ll take a while to trust again, but I’m going stay with Katherine.”

Race rolled his tongue around in his mouth, trying to figure out if Sarah had a worse deal than him and turned to his brother. 

“How’d you find out about it?”

“Mush told me when we got to prom,” Blink stared at the TV, arms crossed. “He looked pretty awful when he told me. I appreciate his honesty, so he’s still my boyfriend.”

Race wondered when his best friend and his brother had gone through such drastic changes. Just a year ago, they wouldn’t have acted like this and he found it admirable. However, he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t feel little envious at how simple their convictions were.

Thinking back to Spot, all Race could feel was his heart being torn into several pieces while wanting to just have Spot in his arms. 

Spot had been honest too. 

He didn’t try to hide it, but Race began to wonder if that was all he had been doing up to that point. Hiding and lying until Race couldn’t see the flaws in what they were. Spot’s confession echoed in his ears, his face coming in flashes as Race battled with himself.

He knew his mind was holding onto the past and Race slumped against the pillows, his mind far from the simple distractions Blink’s room offered.

~

There was no word from Spot. 

While Race wouldn’t admit it out loud, he had kept his eye out for any strange disappearances, odd happenings, but the news remained as normal as ever. Race hated the blame he held for himself when he had just been trapped at the bottom. 

Even if he wasn’t in the mood for forgiveness, he longed to hear Spot’s apologies. Wanted to believe prom had been a bad dream and that things were as they should be. 

He just wanted Spot.

“Where’s your brother?” 

Turning from the street, Race leaned against the porch railing, tucking the newspaper away. “Probably out for a joy ride. Doing hard drugs. I don’t know.”

As soon as the words left Race’s mouth, guilt consumed him as his mother sighed. 

“Race, I know this year has been hard and I’ve put a lot on you...”

Keeping his face as blank as possible, Race’s shoulders dropped. “I’ve been kind of unfair too, Ma. I should’ve looked into local colleges before applying for California.”

“Anthony.” 

The use of his real name pulled Race from his shell and he held his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Your heart’s set on California, isn’t it?”

Scratching at his arm, Race played it off and shook his head. “I guess.”

“Aunt Marie wants to see you as soon as you move in. You know what would happen if we had to tell her you’re not coming after all.”

Race’s head snapped up, his eyes wide as his mother grinned at him. Without a second thought, Race rushed to wrap her in a hug, a small whispered, “Thank you,” leaving him.

“What do you say we make some food?” Race’s mother patted him on the back. “And you can tell me more about the school.”

With a small weight lifting off his shoulders, Race followed his mother inside, the morning a bright moment in his otherwise bleak weekend. 

For now, he could forget about Spot and take joy in spending time with someone who he could count on through thick and thin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's ready for this to be over
> 
> not me
> 
> [Tingle](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


	10. I Want You To Want Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race takes matters into his own hands as best he can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poem was taken directly from the movie cause it fits perfectly and i wouldn't have been able to do a better job than that

Race was convinced Spot had moved schools.

He didn’t run into Spot in their usual places and the morning classes they did share, Spot was absent.

By the time lunch rolled around, Race was doing all he could to not think about Spot, distracting himself in conversation shared between the four people that had suddenly occupied his table. Exchanges between Katherine and Mush were awkward at best, but Sarah and Blink carried the conversation along, keeping the mood light.

For once in his life, Race felt like he belonged there.

When lunch was over, he could bring himself to be on friendlier terms with Mush and Katherine, even waving goodbye to them as they departed. With small grins to Blink and Sarah, Race could only imagine what the summer would be bringing with these newfound friends. If he could even call them that yet.

As he walked down the hall to his final class, Race’s mind had finally broken from Spot until he walked into the room, his eyes landing on Spot’s figure, fiddling around with a lighter. He didn’t look up when Race entered and that hurt more than Race could even begin to say. With his mind screaming, regrets tearing at his heart, Race took his seat towards the front of the classroom as the teacher began.

After a brief reminder of what their assignment was supposed to be, the teacher asked if anyone was willing to read their poem first and when no one raised their hand, Race took one for the team.

He tried not to feel too hurt when the teacher looked less than thrilled and Race stepped to the front of the classroom, scanning over the words written in a tear-filled frenzy. Taking a deep breath, Race spared a glance at Spot before he began.

_I hate the way you talk to me_   
_And the way you cut your hair_   
_I hate the way you drive my car_   
_I hate it when you stare._

Race could feel that cold gaze on him, his composure breaking for a moment as he went on to the next line

_I hate your big dumb combat boots_  
 _And the way you read my mind_  
 _I hate you so much that it makes me sick_  
 _It even makes me rhyme_.

That line almost made Race laugh, but he knew no one else would share the same sentiment. So, he kept his smile down.

_I hate the way you're always right_   
_I hate it when you lie_   
_I hate it when you make me laugh_   
_Even worse when you make me cry._

Race hated the way his voice wobbled, his eyes welling up just to make things worse. All this was supposed to be was a poem, not an outburst of emotions. Then again, Race knew that all he had wanted was to pour everything onto Spot, if only to know his feelings on what happened.

_I hate the way you're not around_   
_And the fact that you didn't call_   
_But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you_   
_Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all._

Tears were freely falling down Race’s face and he scoffed when he saw Spot with the same stare from before. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. Grabbing his things, Race rushed from the classroom and headed out to the parking lot, his breaths catching in his throat. He charged through the parked cars, daring anyone to stop him as he struggled to keep himself above water.

When he reached his car, Race threw the door open, but his movements froze when he saw the guitar sitting on the driver’s seat.

Dropping his backpack, Race leaned forward slowly as if it would disappear, but when it didn’t, Race grabbed onto it, a small gasp of surprise leaving him.

Here he had planned to get it for months and now it was in his hands as if he had always owned it. He spun around, looking for the perpetrator, only to bump into Spot right next to him.

“Oh, um,” Race stumbled, holding the guitar to his body.

Spot said nothing beyond a small shrug and Race struggled to find his voice.

“Did you get this for me?”

With a nod, Spot scratched the back of his neck, his gaze shooting downwards. “Thanks to Katherine really.”

Race’s eyebrows shot up, the guitar suddenly heavy in his hands. Katherine’s money, Spot’s money, all those details seemed so trivial now and Race was pulled from his realization when Spot sighed.

“Look, I know I don’t deserve to be given a second chance. I took advantage of you, it’s simple as that. But I don’t want us to be over, Race. Not this way.”

Taking a deep breath in, Race set the guitar back on the seat and his fingers drummed on the roof of his car. If he was being honest, he was scared. From rejection to ridicule, senior year was more than Race had wanted to deal with.

He had been swept up, caught in a storm where lightning had struck. Twice.

Now, he had to look at everything. Who Spot was, what he carried with him. They had shared something he couldn’t begin to describe, something that had felt breathtaking. For the first time in a long while, Race found his decision easily, his heart ready to burst from his chest.

With a nod, Race found the courage to meet Spot’s gaze, refusing to waver under the hardened stare.

“I don’t want us to be over either.”

Catching his balance on his car, Race found himself grinning into Spot’s kiss and the hands that held tightly onto his face. This felt right.

“Guitar’s not going to solve everything, you know,” Race teased as they parted, making Spot chuckle.

As raw as his mending heart still was, being in Spot’s embrace washed Race in a comfort he hadn’t noticed he’d been ignoring. It seemed Spot was inclined to the same feeling, a small hum leaving him as they pressed close together.

“I’ve got a few more things up my sleeves,” Spot poked back and they grinned at each other as they dove back in for another kiss.

While there were still a few hurdles to overcome, Race was ready for whatever the rest of the year was going to throw at him. After all, he had Spot Conlon, and with Sarah and Blink by his side, the world was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look 10 chapters!! that actually wasn't intentional lolol
> 
> anyway
> 
> thank you for everyone who came along for the ride!! your comments and kudos have meant the world ghjfdkslfks
> 
> i should have some more multichapter fics coming in the future, but if you want to chat about newsies or life in general feel free to hmu on [tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)!!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is near completion with a few edits remaining, so I promise won't be an WIP left hanging!!!
> 
> [Tumblr](http://safarikalamari.tumblr.com)


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